The Rings

2/22/11

10:25am

The Rings

It's me and Jake and Sarah

We're at the top of those creaky, wooden stairs

Looking down on another fight.

The yelling, the tears, the anguish.

All of our hearts were re-broken that night.

Jake left.

How was I to know that would be one of the few times I saw him throughout the next three years?

Sarah and I held diamond rings

The last impression from our father

A gift where he tried to show his love

My mother always wore rings...

Not anymore.

To Tell You the Truth

2/22/11

9:50am

To Tell You the Truth

To tell you the truth

would be to let every

ounce of me escape. I

would have to unlock

all of the doors and

windows to my soul

and let you in. Do

you think that is

fair? Why should I

when you do not?

To tell you the truth

this hurts me more

than it hurts you.

Oh, the trouble I

go through just to

be with you. Why

do I put myself

through it? Why

won't you put

yourself through it?

To tell you the truth

I'm in love with you.

I have been for a

year. I laugh, dance,

sing, cheer when I

am with you. So why

don't you come around

more often. Can you

do this for me? Is it

worth it to you?

Tattoo

Tattoo

2/22/11

9:40am

He went as a boy

But came back a man

His shoulders more broad

A firm grip in his hands.

He signed up after just opening his eyes

Fresh meat; bruised and cold, but given a chance

I received letters of him missing home and

Giving me words of wisdom and guidance

Jake returned

My elder brother, home at last

A few short blinks go by

He's off again, unashamed and unabashed

He camouflaged his heart

With a cold voice, he swears not

His body inked with an outline

Of the life he had sought

Where he has been, he will never be again.

Cheating

Cheating

She was curled up on their bed

Her face was damp as was the part of the blanket where her head rested

She had lost it all.

All of her sweat, tears, energy that she put into it was gone.

He had sex with her partner's, her best friend's, daughter.

We sat on the navy blue carpet in front of the floral couch.

I can still remember how close I was to Jake and Sarah in that moment.

"I cheated on your mom with Judy. I may be going away for a while."

We did moan as my mother had when she lost her world for the millionth time.

We quietly cried our tears and sat in silence, listening.

My First

My First

1/27/11

9:28am

Reilly; he was my first

The first to take me to school on my own

My first sign of independence

He was with me for my first dead end,

My first tireless search,

My first job,

My first love,

My first heartbreak,

My first life crisis,

My first time at inner peace

Reilly was there through it all until...

We were stranded,

Route 62 near the billboard;

He just couldn't make it home.

We dragged his shell to my dad's shop

The goodbyes were hard

He was one of the only dependable things in my life

The snow fell and made a mountain out of Reilly

His shell sold while I was gone

After such a loss, I couldn't move on

But that's when Anita came...

To Reilly

Jealousy

Jealousy

1/25/11

9:40am

In the dark,

It breathes; it creeps,

In the dark,

It does not sleep.

In the dark,

It fans the flame.

In the dark,

It has no shame.

In the dark,

Its motive thickens.

In the dark,

Its heartbeat quickens.

In the dark,

It gives a glare.

In the dark,

It gives too much care.

In the dark,

In crimson, it waits.

In the dark,

It boils with hate.

The "M" Word

The "M" Word

1/20/11

9:30am

His eyes red, itchy, watering.

A rag on his forehead,

A touch and I'm burnt;

He's on fire.

I stare into his windows

Only to see pain and longing within

We are both thrown at the merciful-less feet of life

Kissing them tenderly

I search deep within him

Something has changed

There's a newfound softness

Like the Petals on a soon Wilting Flower

It seems to go on forever,

But the clock speeds up

Mixing the woes and joys so they cannot be distinguished

All the while, coughing comes from within

I sit by his side, smile,

I see that glimmer of hope from his windows

As they sparkle and dance

And he says he loves me.

My heart now dances,

But only if this were another time

I would love it much more

And cherish it as if I'd never let the thought go

For K.J.L.

It is done

It Is Done

1/18/11

9:35am

Last night, the gates fell

And a flood rushed out of me

Both tongue and eye

Unveiled themselves like never before

He too had had dam break,

But the sharpness of his tongue hit me

Words got lost behind the red of his face

Understanding was muddled due to the red of my eyes

It was a fight.

But unlike so many other, this was my confidant.

How did that spill out?

We both have and now had our breaking point.

I wake up to the cloudy, January morning.

No answer. No word. Nothing.

Surely, it's over.

This cannot last forever.

Noon came and went;

Nothing came from him.

My mind fixated on his tongue

Those harsh words

But I forgave him

Now I needed forgiveness

Sitting in my room,

Finally, a voice spoke out against the dark night sky

"It'll be okay."

I flood again only because I am relieved.

Life carries on.

It is done.

For A.R.M.